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Michael Scott

Regional Manager

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Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
 
The worst thing about prison was the... was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body. And it hurt!
 
You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the 80's, ... man, did they move paper!
 
Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But--
 
Do I feel bad about betraying Jim? Not at all. That's the game. Convince him we're in an alliance, get some information, throw him to the wolves. That's politics baby! Get what you can out of someone, then crush them. I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.
 
I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer: they have very good vision. One thing about me: I'm better at hiding, than they are at vision.